Let’s talk about ruthlessness.
Before you begin reading, sit with the word. What happens in your body? How do you feel? Notice that and write it down before you read on.
I’m not talking about violence, cruelty or manipulation. Ruthlessness is the part of you that moves forward with clarity, even when others wish you wouldn’t.
The part that acts without explanation, knowing what must be done, and no longer waiting for approval.
Many of us have internalised the idea that ruthlessness is bad. That being ruthless means being selfish and it’s incompatible with kindness, with compassion, with spiritual practice.
So we make ourselves small.
- we wait
- we explain
- we soften
And often, we suffer as a result.
I’ve always been committed to my shamanic work. I’m fierce about what I know I’m here to do. I’m focused, even when it makes me unpopular.
And it has made me unpopular.
Some people don’t like women who say no. Those who don’t flinch when others pull away. Brave souls who move forward while others are still circling the same old fires.
I’ve felt the sting of being disliked. I’ve experienced the sharpness of disdain and, in some cases, the chill of hatred.
It took time and a lot of Lower Cauldron work to be at peace with that. To learn that I don’t need to explain myself to those who don’t want to understand. I do not twist myself into shapes for others’ comfort.
I got there by turning inward and by making space for every part of myself and by allowing the parts that others judged as too much to take their place in the constellation of who I am.
This is a form of shadow work in the Middle Cauldron. Bear in mind that you cannot reclaim your ruthlessness if your Lower Cauldron is unsteady. If you do not feel safe enough to hold your power, it will feel like danger rather than freedom.
So go gently.
Start with questions:
- Where did you learn that wanting things made you unworthy?
- Who taught you to tone yourself down?
- What part of you feels threatened by your decisiveness?
- When have you stayed quiet instead of naming what you need?
You can journey with a guide who holds fierce, unapologetic power like The Morríghan, a wild ancestor or even your future self.
You might walk and ask for an omen of what part of you is rising that you’ve long denied.
Remember…
- You don’t have to be likeable to be whole.
- You don’t have to be pleasing to be worthy.
If you’ve walked this path, I’d love to hear how it’s shaped you.
If you’re starting out, what scares you about being seen as ruthless?
How do you feel if you compare your initial thoughts on ruthlessness with your feelings after you read the article?