Childhood trauma can quietly shape who you are, often without you realizing it. When you grow up in an environment where your emotional needs are ignored, invalidated, or actively harmed, you adapt to survive. These survival strategies become habits; as an adult, they show up in ways that don’t always make sense.
Here’s how specific childhood experiences influence behaviors in adulthood:
Self-Isolation
Childhood Experience
- You were taught, directly or indirectly, that asking for help would lead to disappointment, ridicule, or punishment.
- You learned to handle everything on your own because relying on others often led to being let down.
Adulthood Behaviour
- You prefer to keep things to yourself, even when you’re overwhelmed.
- You frame your independence as strength, but deep down, you might feel unsupported or lonely.
- When things go wrong, you don’t reach out to others because you believe no one will truly be there for you.
People-Pleasing
Childhood Experience
- You walked on eggshells to avoid upsetting caregivers.
- You learned that keeping others happy was the only way to avoid being hurt, criticized, or ignored.
Adulthood Behaviour
- You say “yes” when you want to say “no” because you fear rejection or conflict.
- You prioritize others’ needs over your own, often to the point of burnout.
- You feel responsible for everyone’s emotions and work hard to keep the peace.
Low Self-Esteem
Childhood Experience
- Your feelings were dismissed or mocked, making you question your worth.
- Your accomplishments were overlooked, or your mistakes were magnified, leaving you feeling inadequate.
Adulthood Behaviour
- You struggle to identify what you truly want or value because you were never taught that your needs matter.
- You constantly seek validation from others, but it never feels like enough.
- You criticize yourself harshly and doubt your ability to make good decisions.
Chronic Anxiety
Childhood Experience
- Your home life was unpredictable—rules, moods, or stability changed without warning.
- You were left to figure out what was “safe” by anticipating every possible outcome and preparing for the worst.
Adulthood Behaviour
- You overthink and overprepare for even small situations, fearing the unknown.
- You feel a constant undercurrent of stress, even when things seem fine.
- Relaxing feels impossible because your body is always on high alert.
Substance Abuse
Childhood Experience
- There was no safe space to process your emotions when you felt overwhelmed.
- You learned to suppress your feelings because expressing them led to ridicule, punishment, or indifference.
Adulthood Behaviour
- You turn to alcohol, drugs, food, or other distractions to avoid facing difficult emotions.
- You use substances or behaviors to numb pain or escape feelings of emptiness.
- Without healthy coping mechanisms, avoiding becomes easier than addressing the root cause of your struggles.
Chronic Health Issues
Childhood Experience
- Living in constant stress causes your body to release stress hormones like cortisol, which takes a toll over time.
- You internalize your emotions
Adulthood Behaviour
- You experience chronic pain, autoimmune issues, or other health problems linked to long-term stress.
- You may dismiss these health issues as normal because you’ve lived with discomfort for so long.
- Your body feels worn down because it has carried the burden of unprocessed trauma.
Avoiding Conflict
Childhood Experience
- You learned that expressing disagreement led to yelling, punishment, or even physical harm.
- You were taught that your feelings didn’t matter in conflicts, so it was safer to stay silent.
Adulthood Behaviour
- You avoid difficult conversations or disagreements, even when they’re necessary.
- You suppress your feelings to keep the peace, often leading to resentment.
- You struggle to stand up for yourself because you fear backlash or dismissal.
Fear of Authority
Childhood Experience
- Authority figures (parents, teachers, or other adults) used their power to control, harm, or humiliate you.
- You were taught that power equals danger, not safety or protection.
Adulthood Behavior
- You feel uneasy or defensive around people in positions of authority, even when they’re kind.
- You assume those with power are more likely to harm or exploit you than to help.
- You may have difficulty trusting bosses, leaders, or even medical professionals.
Understanding these patterns isn’t about assigning blame. It’s about recognizing where they come from so you can begin to heal. These behaviors are your way of surviving, but they don’t have to define your future. You can learn new ways to approach relationships, emotions, and challenges—with support and self-compassion.
The Cauldrons Way addresses many of these issues with step-by-step workshops, healing experiences, handouts, and day-to-day life support. Students who engage with this course have experienced profound life changes (even if they don’t finish it!).
I want that for you!
So….. do you need any support getting started or returning to it? 🥰