Hi, and welcome to season two of Shaman Talk. My name's Rhonda, and I'm your host. And this week we dive into boundaries. Boundaries are a middle cauldron issue. So for those of you who are following a cauldron's path after our previous episode, this episode will help you to be more aware of these issues within you and how to deal with them, and maybe some things that you haven't thought about before as well. Now, now, I used to think that boundaries were big. I used to think that boundaries were once. Every now and again, I had to step into conflict. And I hate conflict. And that was it. So I tried that. Tried putting up big boundaries around having to carry the mental load in my house, for example. That was the first time I did it.

I was so done with carrying the mental load and learning how to say no to the occasionable unreasonable demand. That was my focus. So I did that. Right, I've got it. I thought, I know how to do boundaries. No, not at all. What I've come to realize is that boundaries are big and small. And what I missed was the everyday opportunities not to betray myself, to speak up on all manner of little things. And it was hard and messy. I swung and missed more than I was successful, honestly. But I was determined and I'm still learning now. I almost always don't betray myself in the small moments these days. And the outcome is that I no longer find myself bitching behind closed doors or feeling this rage in my heart at some perceived injustice.

My righteous blame has mostly left me, and I no longer have unconscious temper tantrums. And I think we've all been guilty of that. Resentment is for the most part a distant memory. And even if it comes back to visit now, it's a red flag for me. Where did I betray myself and how do I fix it? So let's get into it. Boundaries versus non Boundaries the Silent Killer of Relationships so boundaries are often misunderstood, leading to confusion and conflict. If you shout at me, I'll leave may sound harsh, but it is a clear boundary. We need clarity or relationships can start to crumble. Non boundaries may sound like, oh, I don't like it when you shout at me, or not saying anything at all, actually. And that may seem softer and kinder, but it can be the silent killer of relationship.

When we feel okay to express feelings and attach clear consequences, we can avoid misunderstanding and resentment. And boundaries like this matter because they are an unseen barrier to healing. So let's talk about that. Without boundaries, you risk losing yourself. You start to compromise your values and beliefs, if you even know what your values are. And it leads to a loss of identity. Lack of boundaries can leave you feeling lost, disconnected, and powerless. It can be an unseen barrier to your emotional health. And without clear boundaries, your personal growth and your spiritual growth will be stunted. And you'll likely feel trapped in patterns that don't serve you. In a spiritual community. Without boundaries, trust can erode and can get downright dangerous, as some of my community have found out, to their detriment. So how do we do it? How do we set boundaries?

What are the key mistakes you might be making when you're trying to heal your Middle Cauldron? So you need to identify your needs. If you don't know what you need, you won't be able to communicate your needs to others. This is a common problem that leads to confusion and frustration, and it can also lead to passive aggressive communication as well. So communication communicate clearly. So vague communication is a trap. If you're not clear, others won't understand you, and then you will feel not listened to and misunderstood, and it can lead to conflict. Staying consistent is important with boundaries, especially for those who may push against your boundaries. Inconsistency can lead to confusion, resentment as well. And it isn't a mistake that can undermine trust, especially with children. So consistency is important. And setting boundaries without compassion can feel harsh and unloving.

So it really is a delicate balance that requires empathy and understanding. There will be a scale. When you first start to set boundaries with a person, you may wish to be gentle, kind, and compassionate, although clearly communicative. If that person continues to push against your boundaries or ignore your boundaries, then your language will become harsher and your consequences more dire, to the point where you may choose to go no contact with that person. So boundaries are a very large scale. For those of you who are conflict averse, boundaries seem like barriers. But they really are bridges to a deeper understanding, respect, and love for self and others. And if you misunderstand boundaries or avoid them altogether, they will become traps in your spiritual journey.

You will not be as connected, as clear, or as powerful a practitioner or spiritual person as you wish to be. They are the key to freedom, healing, and connection. At least one of the keys. So, boundaries and the Middle Cauldron the unspoken threat to your emotional core. So, in Celtic shamanism, the mid Cauldron represents the emotional center, the heart's, wisdom. It's a place of our capacity for love, compassion, and connection. It's where we feel empathize and relate to others. But there's an unspoken threat lurking there, and it is the lack of clear boundaries. So without boundaries, the middle Cauldron becomes overwhelmed. You might find yourself absorbing other people's emotions if you're an empath. An enslaved empath, for example, can lead to confusion and emotional exhaustion because you're carrying the weight of other people's stuff.

And it is a hidden danger that can drain your emotional core. The middle Cauldron thrives on connection and compassion. But without boundaries, these connections become entangled and unhealthy. It can turn compassion into codependency. It's also a source of healing and transformation, right? But without boundaries, you might become stuck in patterns that hinder your growth. This unseen barrier that can keep you from tapping into this potential you have inside yourself. And when we work with the middle Cauldron, it should align us with our spiritual path, very important path on the way up to a spiritual connection in your upper cauldron. But without boundaries, you will lose your way. You will become disconnected from who you are and what you need. And your spiritual calling will be like a distant echo really far away.

So I guess you could say that boundaries are the guardian of your middle Cauldron. Understanding and setting clear boundaries is like placing a wise guardian at the gate of your mid Cauldron. This guardian ensures that your emotional center remains balanced and healthy and aligned with your spiritual path. By embracing boundaries, you can protect and nurture your Middle Cauldron. You can empower yourself to connect with others in a healthy, meaningful way. How exciting. And you unlock this ability to heal and grow and thrive. It is amazing. It's so profound and it's so simple and often overlooked. I'm now going to share some helpful boundary statements with you and let you know what a boundary is and what it isn't. And there is a subtle difference. And again, I'll repeat that the tone you take will depend on who you are talking to.

Does this person need a gentle nudge or a sledgehammer? So these can be changed. The tone can be changed depending on need. And the wording can be changed depending on need as well. Now, I recommend practicing in front of the mirror. Get used to how these statements feel in your mouth. How do they feel out loud? You can also call on your guides to help empower you to say what you mean in the moment. A little tip. If you don't manage to say what you mean in the moment, you can go back. I will often say to someone, can we circle back to the earlier conversation? I didn't do a good job of expressing myself and I'd like to do it again, please. And then you can do it again. You state your boundary. Okay, I'm going to keep this really simple.

So if you like writing things down, now would be the time to get a pen and paper and write down some of these statements. Not a boundary. I don't like it when you shout at me. Boundary. If you shout at me, I'll leave. Not a boundary. It's frustrating when you're always late. Boundary. If you continue to arrive late, I will have to cancel our meetings. Not a boundary. I don't like it when you yell at the kids. Boundary. If you raise your voices at the children, I will intervene. Not a boundary. It would be really nice if you filled the petrol tank when you use my car. Boundary. If you borrow my car, please fill up the petrol tank. Otherwise, I will not lend you my car. Okay?

So there's quite just a little bit of a difference in there where we bring in consequence. Okay? Now you have to action the consequence. Don't say something that you're not willing or able to follow through on. All right? Practice statements that you can actually work with. Boundaries are not mere lines drawn in the sand. They're sacred commitments to ourselves, our relationships, and our spiritual path. And the sheep behind me agree. They are the guardians of our middle cauldron, the emotional core that connects us to our true selves and the world around us. Right? We've explored the hidden traps and the unseen barriers that lack of boundaries can create. We've seen how they can silently erode relationships, hinder growth, and lead us astray from our spiritual calling.

By embracing boundaries, we are unlocking the doors to a consciously connected spiritual life, and we empower ourselves to thrive in authenticity, love, and respect. We protect and nurture our emotional core, allowing us to connect with others in healthy and meaningful ways. All right. Boundaries become bridges to deeper understanding, healing, and transformation, and not only within ourselves, but with other people as well. So, for those of you who have felt lost, alone, disconnected, or broken, know that boundaries are a tool for healing. They are a pathway back to your roots and forward into a life of greater spiritual connection and fulfillment. As a Celtic seer and shaman, I invite you to reflect on the boundaries in your life. Consider how they align with your values. If you don't know your values, figure out what they are.

They help you align with your relationships and your spiritual journey. So embrace them, wrap your arms around them, and let them be the guardians of your heart, your relationships, and your spiritual path. So thank you once again for tuning into Shaman Talk, and thank you to the Sheep for joining us briefly. If you have any questions, stories, or insights about boundaries, we'd love to hear from you. Reach out to me on Instagram at center for Shamanism. And don't forget to subscribe to this podcast. If you subscribe to this podcast, it really does help us out. Until next time, may the wisdom of the ancients guide you, the warmth of your heart comfort you, and the sacred cauldrons within you find harmony and balance.