Are you a saviour? This is wee note for the Saviours out there
Remember not to work harder than the person you’re helping.
It’s a helpful barometer when applied sensibly.
Like, no, I’m not talking about little kids, or your elderly parent who has dementia, or the people who show up for you day or night in a reciprocal relationship.
But, in your day-to-day life, just notice how much you’re doing vs those other capable people in your life.
I define a capable person as an older teen or adult who can make choices and take actions for themselves.
That’s most people, even if they do not demonstrate capability.
As a Saviour, you might THINK they need you to take all the burden. They rarely do. You are creating an environment where the folks you ‘save’ are not allowed to experience the consequences of their actions and, therefore, have no motivation to grow or change.
It’s a tough pill to swallow, but you are not helping in the long term.
I’m not saying don’t offer support if someone asks you directly for help – I’m reminding you that if you choose to support someone who is struggling, watch for how much they are also helping themselves.
Feel free to ease off the gas and preserve some energy for yourself.
How does this make you feel? Let’s hear your Saviour stories.