Honesty without tact
I’m someone who speaks their mind.
I’ve learned the hard way that holding back makes me feel unwell—body, mind, and spirit.
But I’ve also seen what happens when people speak up without care. They bulldoze others in the name of ‘honesty.’ They make people feel small, defensive, or undermined. They’re not speaking truth—they’re just being assholes.
For a long time, I struggled to find the balance.
I’ve swung too far in both directions—staying silent when I should have spoken and being blunt when I should have been thoughtful. I’ve said things that didn’t need to be said or said in ways that made things worse.
I remember telling someone exactly what I thought about their approach to something—and watching their face fall. I hadn’t meant to be cruel, but I realized too late that my honesty was more about getting something off my chest than helping. That moment stayed with me.
These days, I hold myself accountable for how I communicate. I choose my words with care. I don’t abandon myself in the process, but I don’t swing a verbal hammer just because I ‘speak my truth.’
It’s a tricky line to walk.
Some people will take me badly no matter what. They’re defensive. They hear what they want to hear. That’s on them. Yet… what do I expect to happen if I come in all guns blazing under the ‘flag’ of honesty?
If someone comes at you hard, how do you feel? 🫣
For some, avoiding difficult conversations feels safer. For others, bluntness is a defense mechanism—a way to feel strong, even when it pushes people away. Neither approach is truly sovereign.
This is Middle Cauldron work—learning to show up in relationships with compassionate, thoughtful boundaries of steel (no easy feat!)😂
Before I speak, I ask myself three things:
- Is this true?
- Is this necessary?
- Is this kind?
If I can’t answer ‘yes’ to these, I take a step back and reconsider my approach.
Think about a recent time you spoke your truth—did it land how you intended? Or did it create unnecessary tension? If you’ve been holding back, what’s stopping you from expressing yourself with clarity and care?
🤩 What are your thoughts?