When life changes… PIVOT!
A student recently asked me for some information on transitions… let’s chat about pivoting 🤩
WHAT IS A TRANSITION?
Transitions are moments when you move from one activity, environment, or emotional state to another.
These shifts can be as simple as transitioning from work to home or adjusting to unexpected changes, like a changed plan or an unannounced visitor.
For many, these in-between moments bring discomfort—a sense of unease that can linger or even escalate into stress.
WHAT YOU MIGHT FEEL LIKE IF YOU STRUGGLE WITH THIS
➡️ You can’t get into the headspace to enjoy the new plan – you agreed on a restaurant but your friends change their mind at the last minute. You feel unable to speak up and ask to keep the plan the same. You go to the new restaurant but you’re off for the rest of the night. It takes sleep to reset.
➡️ You hate it when anyone shows up at your house unexpectedly – that can be family, delivery guys… it’s just not ok for you. Perhaps you’ve even hidden and not answered the door… (I know have!)
➡️ You have a set amount of energy for plans and it completely derails how you’re feeling and saps your energy levels when things don’t go how you envisioned them.
➡️ When you’re expecting something nice to happen and it doesn’t the disappointment can make you feel depressed.
➡️ You might have a set timeline in your head for how long things will take – and when the day doesn’t go to plan it’s hard for you to adapt. This often happens in your head and you don’t communicate this timing plan to others.
WHAT MAKES TRANSITIONS DIFFICULT?
Many of us struggle with transitions because we weren’t taught how to navigate them. As children, we depended on caregivers to model transitions effectively. When transitions were rushed, chaotic, or unsupported, we learned to associate them with stress.
- Rushed transitions meant being hurried from one task to another without time to adjust.
- Overexplaining or overwhelming approaches involved parents using too many words instead of showing calming actions.
- Unprepared environments led to shifting into new tasks without cues or signals to ease the change.
For children, this often showed up as tantrums, resistance, or overwhelm. For adults, it might look like irritability, procrastination, or an inability to focus. The root issue remains the same: a struggle to release one state and adapt to another.
HINTS YOU MIGHT STRUGGLE WITH THIS AND NOT REALISE
- Feeling frazzled when leaving work and entering home life.
- Discomfort or anxiety when plans change unexpectedly.
- Difficulty shifting between tasks or roles, such as being a professional, a parent, or a partner.
- Emotional struggles, like moving from anger to calm or from focus to relaxation.
PERSONAL STORY: THE “PIVOT” TRICK
Unexpected changes are one of my biggest challenges. When I have a plan for my day and something disrupts it, I find it hard to adapt gracefully. My trick? I acknowledge the frustration and then in my head yell “PIVOT!” (if you know, you know).
This lightens the moment and gives me permission to reset without spiralling. It’s definitely not about pretending the shift is easy (because it isn’t) but about meeting it with humour and intentionality.
FOR NEURODIVERGENT INDIVIDUALS
Transitions can be especially challenging for neurodivergent individuals, including those with autism, ADHD, or sensory processing differences. Heightened sensitivity to change, sensory input, and emotional regulation can amplify discomfort. Strategies include:
- Use visual or auditory cues such as timers, alarms, or visual schedules to signal upcoming changes.
- Establish predictable routines to create stability and reduce stress.
- Allow buffer time between activities to process and reset.
- Incorporate grounding tools like weighted objects or stress balls.
- Simplify changes by breaking transitions into smaller steps.
- Communicate needs clearly and ask for support when necessary.
HOW TO SUPPORT HEALTHY TRANSITIONS (regardless of the root)
➡️ Pause and acknowledge the transition. Recognize the shift and create space for intentionality. Say to yourself, “I am leaving work now,” or “This is a moment to shift gears.”
➡️ Create small rituals to mark the shift. Light a candle before starting a new task, take a mindful breath, or go for a short walk.
➡️ Use movement or sound to signal change. Stretch, hum, or engage in rhythmic actions to help.
➡️ Simplify your space. A clear, organized environment makes transitions smoother.
➡️ Set boundaries. Communicate your needs, like taking ten minutes alone after work to reset.
➡️ Accept imperfection. Use transitions as opportunities to notice patterns and explore new approaches.
TRANSITION ISSUES AND THE LOWER CAULDRON
When transitions or changes occur, life can feel out of control.
This loss of control often triggers discomfort or even fear because it disrupts our sense of safety. When life feels unpredictable or unmanageable, it threatens the fundamental human need for stability and control. This can manifest as anxiety, hypervigilance, or a sense of being ungrounded, especially when transitions are sudden or unexpected.
Feeling unsafe in transitions is deeply connected to the Lower Cauldron, which governs physical well-being, survival, and security.
When this issue arises, it’s a sign that some Lower Cauldron work may be needed.
Practices to restore balance in the Lower Cauldron include:
- Grounding exercises like walking barefoot on the earth or sitting with your back against a tree.
- Eating nourishing foods that provide a sense of stability and connection to your body.
- Using rhythmic actions such as drumming or rocking to soothe the nervous system.
- Visualizing a strong foundation beneath you, such as roots growing deep into the earth.
What’s Not Helpful
When things don’t go as planned, we sometimes cope in unhealthy ways. These are some habits that are best avoided:
➡️ Blaming others for what went wrong
➡️ Avoiding your feelings rather than accepting them
➡️ Using numbing techniques to cope with your emotions
- Where do you notice the most resistance during transitions?
- What rituals or actions could you introduce to make those moments easier?