I spent a long time being irritated by the word authentic, especially ‘become your authentic self’, which I have used in event blurbs. It got me thinking… what message is held in my irritation, and here are some thoughts 🤩
Have you ever tried so hard to “be authentic” that it felt… fake? That’s the paradox of trying, I think. The more effort you put into projecting authenticity, the further away it feels.
This happens because trying to be authentic creates a gap between who you are and who you think you should be.
That gap is filled with striving, self-doubt, and performance. Instead of simply being, you’re caught in a loop of self-improvement that only moves you further from yourself.
I’ve been there, feeling dissatisfied with who I believed I was and trying to show up as someone “better.” But the harder I tried, the less true it felt.
Now, I try to show up as I am, warts and all. I feel much less irritated by the word, so I reckon that’s a good sign 😂
This struggle is rooted in the lower cauldron and manifests through the middle cauldron. When your lower and middle cauldrons are imbalanced, it’s easy to feel like you’re never enough.
Authenticity becomes a goal instead of a natural state.
The truth is, genuine authenticity isn’t something you achieve. It’s what happens when you stop trying and let yourself be. You don’t need to improve or refine your essence to be worthy of connection.
Ask yourself:
- Where am I performing instead of showing up as I am?
- What expectations do I carry about who I “should” be?
- How does it feel to stop trying and feel myself as I am without judgment?
The middle cauldron thrives on honesty with yourself and others.
Pause for a moment and focus on your middle cauldron. Take a few breaths, placing your hands on your chest. Ask:
- What am I holding here that isn’t mine?
- What would happen if I let go of the need to appear “authentic”?
- How can I offer myself the same acceptance I hope to receive from others?
The middle cauldron reminds us that authenticity isn’t found through effort. It emerges when we let go of the need to be anyone other than who we are.
The more you trust yourself, the more genuine your connections feel—to others and yourself.
😍 What are your thoughts on this?