How to tell if its you or not… the emotional maturity test
Starting out on a Cauldrons path can be challenging—we might second-guess ourselves and wonder if we’re the problem when we face conflict.
We try to be accountable for our actions and take responsibility for our ‘stuff’.
But it’s hard to see a situation clearly when:
a) You’re deeply connected to the people involved.
b) You grew up in that environment, so it feels normal.
c) Your lower cauldron is off balance, and your nervous system is overwhelmed.
A simple test can help:
- Sit them down.
- Without accusations or heightened emotion, express how their actions hurt or upset you.
- Say nothing else—observe their reaction.
Emotionally mature responses:
- They are curious, open, and willing to listen.
- They stay calm and ask questions to understand.
- They will offer a sincere apology when it is needed.
- They may explain that you had the wrong idea but their goal is a resolution between you and for you to feel better.
Emotionally immature response:
- Defensiveness, outbursts, or withdrawal.
- They might shut down, storm off, give the silent treatment, or deflect by bringing up your past mistakes.
- They may be clever and try to explain why it’s your fault and not theirs.
- The goal isn’t resolution—it’s making your feelings wrong so they don’t have to face discomfort.
Does this help? Let me know in the comments 🥰